I've Known Better

I've known better...It's not about time...Love doesn't take time...we're just FRIEND for past, present and future...our future are FRIEND FOREVER...I just think too much...should think less...I should start my new life, yet to look and step forward...without lookin' at the past...But I don't really get with, why have to forget the past...? Is that our memories are just nothing for you? even friend's memories also...? Nvm...I've known better I got no value or a position in ur heart...I'm just your tiny friend among your friends and passbyer among thousands million of people...I already immuned myself...I feel sad but I don't cry anymore...I've known better my heart is bleeding...No one is listening to my sad story anymore...No one is listening to me when I cry so badly anymore...No one can make me such a frankly in front of...No one can replace you in my heart *5658-The One is not fated* I've known better someone will do in future...I don't know why I love you the most...But I don't get your love in return...It's matter of feeling...Start from now, I won't be so kepoh to care about your thingy anymore =) Let me wish you full of luck wherever you're and your *Destiny Angel* comes to you to take care of you =) Let me put a full stop of my love after 2 years one-sided-love to you =) *FULL STOP-5658* You're the one I loved the most...I Love You *FULL STOP-5658*

痛

痛痛痛痛痛痛...心很痛！大概也了解了！好想哭，但强迫眼泪不能滑落！痛痛痛痛痛痛~~~~

怕怕心情

此时此刻的我学会了不闻不问，有些事知道了又怎样？不就是自己傻傻的伤心也无人知...虽然在事情过后知道了会更伤心，但一下子就好了，因为无法回到过去，我无可奈何，只好接受！现在的我，看见你...无论是面对面还是FB，我都会感觉一阵伤感，却偏偏强迫自己不要去看，哪怕只是那短短的一秒...感觉那状态指正我，就如你之前所说的，我的确是那样！我也唯有说声对不起，我的缺点竟然转为伤害，把你给刺伤了！对不起，也许对不起对你来说麻木了！但是，最近的我也只有歉意...无心伤害，也不知道要如何去嬭补，好像越弄越糟！有时候，想找你聊聊，却害怕向前，以前的勇气用尽了。你的冷淡真的令我感到很寒，想不通我们是很要好的好朋友，还是根本不是朋友，还是Hi-Bye Friend？总觉得，你待普通朋友好过你所谓我这位好朋友。看不清，感到害怕！很想去问个清楚，但觉得又何必呢？

Haven

再一次从梦里哭醒 : ( 你的冷言冷语令我感到很冷。我仅仅想要在梦里被呵护的一刻，却被你冷冷的甩开。还好有Daddy Mommy在身边，感觉就好像，除了Daddy Mommy以外，再也找不到任何避风港了！

记得上一次梦里的你，真的好浪漫，好窝心...但是，Daddy Mommy一样的出现在梦里！好像反映着我那仅仅的依靠只有他们了！

现在的我应付不了你那时冷时热的态度，我什么也不想了，只是想好好的做你的好朋友 : )

自我要求

有要求的人是好是坏？我说:"有要求就有进步...人必须永远进步，而不是退步或随便...我不喜欢做东西随随便便...因为我有要求...人生就是要对自己负责人...有责任感的人不会随便...自己人生自己负责" =) 突然觉得自己很有文采~哈哈...就是这样，加油！=)

美梦不真

那个梦是我有史以来感觉到最开心、最浪漫、最不真实的梦！谢谢你在梦里面为我制造浪漫惊喜，最真诚、最感动的告白！但我知道那些都是假的，一切不过只是梦！拥抱着你是我最幸福的一刻，虽然也只是梦！那些已经满足～还记得，梦里的我真的不敢相信～因为这一切都是不可能发生的！也就是梦！我还问了一个超傻的问题，连我自己也过不了的那一个问题！梦醒了，答案还没答，一切也只是梦！梦醒了，很伤心～因为太不真实了，这一切都是不可能的不可能！唯有祝你幸福吧～我不烦你了！

同人不同命

医生啊医生，好想好想快快痊愈。我很后悔当初的冲动，却换来今天的忧伤。我已经尝试放开很多了，但是那个心却一直和我唱反调。好郁闷。郁闷就快死了！身边的朋友都各自找到了伴侣，我却还是单身一人，却天天安慰自己缘分未到。对于一个恋爱失败者，竟然还敢给意见，哈哈，好笑！唯有说Love takes Time这三个字并不可以套在我身上。只能说我们是不可能的不可能，所以什么theory都套不上。要怪就怪自己太没脑！哈哈。那天，爸爸还劝我不要太相信男生的话，说我容易被骗。听到了，顿时整个人静了下来。我真的那么笨吗？这个sem也不错嘛，彼此见面机会更少了，也许是时候学会不要执著。颖芝也可能说得对，喜欢你的人是不会让你伤心的！是时候不要自己骗自己了，什么相信未来，全都是假的！自己说来安慰自己罢了。那句话说的一点都没错，还很贴切，“有一天，你若是能进到我的心里，你一定会落泪，因为那里都是你给的伤悲；有一天，若是我能进到你的心里，我也一定会落泪，因为里面都是你的无所谓。”

几撑不住的眼泪都要继续撑！以笑迎对！

冷宫

心|情

它狠狠被打进了冷宫

想要流泪

却

强迫自己不准流泪

果然

眼泪往里回游

但是

脑海里却飘流着同样的想法

无法被删除

唯有沉睡让我过得好一些

天亮了 睡醒了

那个伤 却还未愈合

一碰它 就会痛

很痛很痛 真的狠狠痛

想要找个人聊聊天

但却当起鸵鸟

掉头 就睡

也许逃避是目前最好的解药

因为根本找不到人能真正了解

唯有

需要人陪

这首歌能安慰我

如果有选择

我会把那些美好又残酷的回忆统统删掉

那些回忆

是自己一手创造的

却也

对自己太残忍了

我符合不来

现在的我

唯有把自己所有的感觉

藏进冷宫

往冷宫里丢

不想说

不敢想

但却也

清清楚楚的知道

自己并不是真正的快乐

Feelings since ...

Jiayou*

18 August 2010
Nice Quote: If you hold something tightly, It'll definitely break for being hold tightly...So, you've to let it be as what it is or set it free...I do believe it'll come back to you in one day~

I hate myself being fallen back into love, again to the same person. Mixed feelings!
What he did was really touch my heart~Ya, I enjoyed the moment and situation btw us now...
But seems like I overstepped after...I should give myself a big applause for being stupid again and again...
Yes, I admitted I'm stupid...but it doesn't matter, as long as I'm happy for this moment~
Way back into love, yes~I thought someone can replace him, but it wasn't...
Seems like I love him more than I can imagine...
Hidden love will never let him know~I hope I can manage to hide it from him~
I would wait for him~and workout to slim down~
because I do believe he is the one I need the most in my future~

Learning to not jealous, Learning to not asking any news about you...I'm sorry~

《自 。己》

心 碎

慢慢的裂痕

把我弄得好痛好痛

无人回应

自己说笑

沉默就是我

无人关心

虚伪关心也罢

我需要它

无人陪伴

像是灵魂无主

唯独自陪己

己愈合痛

只好忍着伤痛

自己熬过去

心在淌血

滴答滴答滴

不想再被伤害

--------------------------------

在读这的您

能了解我的痛吗

--------------------------------

找不到任何人诉苦

我那么不被重视吗

算了

残酷的现实

没人了解

所以

才封锁自己

---------------------------------

我想你，我爱你

阿公，今天我梦到了你。你一定很想念丽媚吧～我很想你，阿公～在梦里，为什么你还是没对我说最后一句话？你的离去对我来说太突然了。你没有好好的说再见，我想念你晚上陪我说话聊天的时候。尤其是在我熬夜读书的时候。你总是为我们着想，而选着了这一步。我第一次摸你的脸也是我最后一次的摸你的脸。却也没想到，这一摸，就是你那冷冰冰的脸。阿公，你过得好吗？我陪在你身边，为什么你不说一句话？为什么你不好好撑下去？我还要带你回中国的啊。你的心愿无法实现是我的遗憾。我是真的真的很想你，阿公。我下半辈子还要当你的孙女！阿公，你要乖乖哦。我爱你。最痛的是没能唤醒你。我一直努力的叫着你，你却没回应。好痛好痛。但没有任何人比你更痛更有勇气了。不习惯你的不存在。那一天真的吓傻我了，阿公啊～我也没想到我那么的勇敢陪你到医院。在医护车里，daddy叫我不要哭，是怕你更难受。我也立刻收起那爱哭的脸，好好的唤醒你的意识。但却没能唤醒你。阿公～阿公～那一天，听到平时厨房里发出的声音，我还以为是你还在。但，却不是你。阿公，美媚会乖乖听你的话～阿公啊～要常常到我的梦里让我好好疼爱你～在天堂，要加油哦。我想你，我爱你～

Enjoy Life and Pamper yourself more =)

I feel Happy today =)

Went to an event, "Chic Pop by Recharge" at Bijou, Mont Kiara!

A nice place to hang out, a relaxation place.

Feel like to stay over there, but it's too high class!

At least I won't feel emo after the event!

Emo is the most scary one, you wouldn't know what will be happened next!

If he/she thinks negatively, definitely they'll go wrong!

I couldn't imagine how worst is the consequences.

3 ways probably will help!

First, Cry!

Cry out loud as you could!

Second, Speak!

Speak it out to your friend!

Third, Sing!

Sing out loud!

That's me!

I used to cry alone whenever I feel emo.

Then will try to speak it out with besties.

Or ask besties out to Sing K, sing tilL voiceless!

There are so lots of activities over there.

But can't manage to try all.

I just tried manicure and went for palm reader.

What the palm reader said was true.

That's so amazing when heard what she said.

She gave me some confidence.

**~Enjoy Life, Pamper yourself more~**

Time to improve myself, and I meant it =)

Oh NO! E.M.O again?

空虚的心灵再度浮现。刚才喝茶时，说着说着，2度湿了眼眶。也许他们总会说，“看，emo pattern又来了”。也许只有我才能真正地了解那所谓的空虚。他们总会认为我又是为爱而emo！说真的，的确是。但是，他们并不了解而抹杀了我emo的一切。对于有市场的他们往往很少尝到那空虚的感觉。久而久之，没有人再对我说意见，觉得为爱这小事太无聊了。身边的朋友真的能聊心事真的很少，再来，再好的朋友也会听到烦。所以，选着了封口不说。总是以一个开心果在朋友们面前说笑，所以他们也很少察觉到我那忧伤的一面。自然而然，他们却忽略了问候我的心。我也很愧疚地说，那位无辜的傻婆总是我的聆听者和出气筒。Emo，这不是我想要的。我真的不想让别人认为我是那么懦弱，但却很不坚强的，又emo起来了。所以，带着微笑面具待人。当看到知己，却放肆的流泪。其实，我真的很想高高兴兴的过每一天，不想再那么emo！身边的她们也有了各自的伴，偶尔还会有护花使者或小苍蝇围绕着。是替他们高兴，但想一想自己，是多么悲惨和可怜，却连四分之一的苍蝇都没有！听他们说得很起劲，但自己也唯有笑笑，笑得满累的。这世界就那么以貌取人吗？难道肥婆就被淘汰吗？就连认识的男生也忽略了我的存在，悲哀啊！为什么他们的电话总是无时无刻的响个不停，我的电话好像停止了使用！听着他们诉苦说谁谁谁一直打电话给他们，让他们觉得很烦很怕看到谁谁谁的电话！为什么我却没有？算了，我已知道世界就是那么残酷！哭过就好了吧？为什么哭了还是再哭？我真的很怕有一天我会有忧郁症！我有那么悲惨吗？有好感的男生出现，也会无时无刻的告诉自己不能再让自己受伤害，不可以！在不知觉中，原来自己已自动启动了defence system！有时，都不敢相信男生说的话。无数次的伤害，最伤的是这次，但往往却是我自己伤害我自己！他是好人～但不属于我！原来争取自己的幸福是行不通的！

EmptineSsss

Again, nightmare! (>.<)" Why must every dream of mine is a bad dream? Why not a sweet dream? I'm seriously hurtin'...and my heart wasn't fully recovered yet! Why must everytime have to be awaken by those bad dream? Afraid to continue sleep...couldn't imagine what dream will it be when I close my eyes. I don't hope to be emo queen again! tryin' to hide those sadness deep inside, and tryin' to pretend as cheerful as I could. tryin' to lock my heart from others...and even warn myself not to fall in love again! I wonder,"Would I become Insane or Psycho one day?"

That day, I dream of myself being alone! What he said inside the dream was really hurt! And I cried till awake from the dream! The dream kinda real...even my tears was still rollin inside my eyes. Am I the one couldn't accept myself or others? Where's my confidence all? They're gone far away from me! Am tryin' to beg them come back to me, but still...my heart was so empty! And I found out that there's nobody there for me when I need CARE! Feel to HUG someone badly especially when my heart is so empty (~.~)

回忆还是温热的

但承诺已经冷却了

我的天真在泪水里沉沦

孤独它让我无法负荷

不用假装还爱着

舍不得还是放开了

我的天真早就摔成遍地的忐忑

失去了所有顔色

这次我真的痛了

真的彻底醒了

我试着洒脱

换来的只是伤痕

我爱到痛了

你却留下我一个人

埋葬我的天真

还能够说些什么

当快乐已经掏空了

我的天真早就碎成遍地的忐忑

努力平凑着 却再也无法完整

这次我真的痛了

真的彻底醒了

我试着洒脱

换来的只是伤痕

我爱到痛了
你却留下我一个人

埋葬我的天真

我哭的累了

没有梦是好的

别再说爱我

你给的全是悔恨

我爱到痛了

你却留下我一个人

埋葬我的天真

:: 天真 by 弦子 ::

Am just an ordinary girl who is easily to get hurt and no confidence, because of my appearance! And I hate myself...being so easy to cry! Already 22nd, but still easy to drop my tears...even writing this post! I think zhi already get bored with my tears! haha =) Yellin' for a man who can treat me well and cure my sadness...LOL...he's still FAR AWAY!

3 things from Dirty~^^

♥ 3 things that he said were impressed me a lot ♥

1. The best photographer!

Everyone knows how to snap a photo.

But not everyone knows how to deliver the story of the photo well.

2. Appearance doesn't important as a good hearted!

Appearance doesn't long lasting.

It will gone when you are old.

So, beauty from the heart is the most important for a person.

3. Curse you losing weight!

Thanks <3

No doubt...

All of these was from a guy to me...

Hardly to imagine it was from a guy...

He really impressed me a lot...

Really glad to know you~^^

[[ imperfection ]]

E.M.O suddenly

Only CRY could cure my emo right now

because of iMissyou

I am truly Missin' you

feels to chat with you but scare it would be a bother for you

it's kinda suffer for me

Because

Wanna talk to you but forcing myself not to talk with you

But glad that you've commented on my status or links last week

Thinkin' back things happened month ago

the most stupid and childish action of mine

Now only I discovered there are so many imperfection of me

1. Arbitrariness

2. Petty Jealousy

3. Barbarism

4. Think too over

5. Self-centered

6. Lazy

7. Impetuous

8. Childish Thinking

and a lot more...

No one is perfect

But

I believe everyone can do the best to correct their imperfection

and I'm started to correct all these

I will always remind myself about what you've told me

Thanks for sharin' the video [Deep in Consideration]

Thanks God for let me knowin' you in my life

I'm sorry from bottom of my heart

although you didn't read this

But

hope there's a day you'll know about this

[Objective: I hope I could do that with my 3 months]

♥ Welcome Myself ♥

Hi people =)

Let me briefly introduce myself

Charmaine K here!

Actually I do not know myself very well

BUT

Friends around me

They know me better than myself

I used to have a blog before

BUT

I deactivate them

Since

My friend told me not to tell everything online

 BUT

 Why am I here again?

Because I just want to express myself through Words

So

Let this place to be my SOUL

Want to know me better?

Just call my name

AND

I'll Be There

-end-